I have a hopefully humorous (in my usual dark fashion) post in progress. I planned to take some time and buff it up this evening. Of course, humor is in the mind of the reader, perhaps it will be dreadfully dull and stupid. I have another darker one on my mind, too, but I don't know if I'll post that even here. Friend Dacey says that I get a bit edgy here at times.
However, a couple of hours ago, I was put into a terrible ethical dilemna (that I absolutely did not create even 1%) that has me, to use Partner Amy's term, "really freaking out." And the fucking rules (Did I say that? These are the rules I've lived by for 30 years, pretty faithfully and, indeed, the rules that I was tasked with enforcing for a few years) will not permit me to give any details at all here. So here I sit at No. 3, it's dark and storming outside, the house is dark but for my little desk lamp, everyone else has long since gone home, I've talked to my best friends (who, being lawyers, I can give some factual details to) who say it's a damn shame but I am absolutely mandated to do what I'd already done before I called them even though if I didn't do it nobody would (probably) ever find out. So do I be corrupt and feel bad, or follow the rules and feel horrible? Sadly, there is no room for discussion or even hesitation, and I feel guilty in an odd sort of way that I didn't at least consider doing the expedient but wrong thing. Not that I'm some sort of ethical drama queen or icon. But, by God, I DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT and I'M REALLY PISSED OFF AT LIFE AND THE UNIVERSE RIGHT NOW. For all the good that does. Sigh.
Pippa passes. But right now, I'd like to kick her ass.
R
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5 comments:
Oh Roger, I remember those days. I'm so sorry. You have my number if you ever feel like talking. (Only 2 other pipples in shelf have my number and they be too cheap to call me so my lines open). Of course, the alternate explanation is they don't want to talk to me and that can't be true. Sometimes just reading or engaging in something totally unrelated can work stuff out in one's head and heart. Cava suerto, meijo. Sarai
Roger, you scare me when you swear.
LOL okay I shouldn't laugh but you have a funny way about you even when pissed as hell. Am sorry you're having a rough time, those knife-blade decisions can be murder. How did things work out?
Four
PS Sarai, am not el cheapo, just iggerant (still have no number for you)
:)
You know Carolyn, you're the second of the two pipples who wrote me today to say you've lost my phone number. Odd when I have a friend, I list them on my aol addy book; at home personal addy book; phone and/or cell memories. (Not really, just trying to drive a point here). I guess I just don't matter as much to friends as I thought ... which shouldn't surprise me. I get pretty delusional about these things sometimes. (This seems to be my annual pity party week ... no worry, only a couple days to go). Sorry Roger for posting my wine in here but its the only kind I permit myself anymore. xox S
Darling Roger, I'm so sorry about my inner idjit escaping the other night during a visit ... (above posted wine). oof
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