A shocking confession, and some random thoughts

I had no choice. Really. I needed some things. I couldn't help it. It called to me. Great Caesar's Ghost, the guilt is consuming me.

I shopped at WalMart yesterday. Not only that, it was a WalMart Supercenter, and I was impressed.

I needed some basic sewing stuff. And a spot mirror for LaElu's new-used car. And Diet Coke for No. 3. I didn't know where else to go. Dammit, it's not fair. The place is enormous. The "associates," who I think of as slaves to an impersonal corporate King, were neat and friendly. I needed some buttons, and got 2 strips of them for 62 cents each. Hell, I even got a little underwear, first off-the-rack/non-specialty-store clothing I've gotten in a long time.

My liberal credentials are smashed. I'm a sell-out.

Sigh. Went to No. 3 this morning, puttered around. Tomorrow is a dedicated work day, on Saturdays I feel OK about not working intensely. Came home, and I've been reading a new book, The Nine, by Jeffrey Toobin. It is a recent history of the U.S. Supreme Court and, although I'm officially a member of the bar of that august body (having filed a case there many years ago), I've never so much as driven past the building. I don't know what there was about the book that called to me at B&N. I'm liking it, and if I finish it by tomorrow, it will fit into the 3rd quarter canon.

The windshield wipers on my Audi are crapping out. The f.ing part is $587. Then whatever labor to install it. I'm looking for a Jeep. I think I'm more of a Jeep kind of guy these days.

In response to a couple of comments to the Masonic posts: Is Masonry anti-Catholic? Not expressly, but I can understand why that's confusing. There is the Masonic Lodge, and also other "appendant bodies," that is, other organizations affiliated with it. The Lodge admits no atheists. That's the only religious test. I don't know how many of the brethren are Methodists, Catholics, etc. I do know that one new brother follows some Asian religion, but I don't have a clue which one, and it doesn't matter. Some of the appendant bodies have a strong anti-authoritarian message, both secular and clerical. My bare impression is that the Catholic Church has a more organized heirarchy than any other, but I may be wrong. Also, Kath mentions the Shriners. I'm a Shriner, but I don't attend meetings these days, just from lack of time. The Shrine is a social and service organization, as public as the Lodge itself is private. The Shrine has the largest charitable endowment in the world, and operates about a dozen totally free world-class orthopedic hospitals for children, and two out of the three best burn hospitals in the world, also totally free. I talked at my rescue company's reunion in May to a brother who does a lot in the Shrine. He is a tough, strong guy (former power lifter), and he teared up at his description of a particular young woman who has been treated at the ortho. hospital for many years, and who has gone from being wheelchair-bound to walking unassisted. Clank mentioned the Lodge helping her grandfather's family, and that's a sacred duty of the brothers, and one normally fulfilled as quietly as possible.

I've developed some tremors in my hands that make typing on a light keyboard (like the one on this, my favorite old, dependable Dell) a little unsteady. Damfino what's going on. On the other hand, the weight project proceeds totally nominally, and I am enjoying feeling those improvements.

I went down to the regional jail yesterday to talk to a couple of clients, including Tina the crack dealer/prostitute who I've mentioned in recent weeks. We had a nice chat, she just needed to know that I'm there, we're waiting on the pre-sentence report before the next heavy activity occurs. Thursday was her 40th birthday. She told me something (that I told her I was going to use in the sentencing hearing and tell others including you) that touched me. A year ago, on her 39th birthday, she was turning tricks in the rain on a street corner in a small city in West Virginia, and when she got home her husband beat her up. This year, she was in jail for her birthday. She said that she was safe, warm, being medically treated for the first time in a long time, and with people who for the most part were pleasant to her about her birthday. There are lots of ways to look at this. My first thought is that this is so sad, and that the sadness and degradation so common in America is evil. I also think about personal responsibility and choices, opportunity, and a healthy dose of there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I.

Lots of things are going on which are taxing my "adaptability energy," which is what a old paramedic friend-preacher calls stress. I can only think of some favorite passages of Emerson, and press on.

Pippa passes. Mizpah.

R