Rambling: I temporarily come unglued, the full moon, and thoughts on a man's man

I have not forgotten my promise to reveal all of the arcane secrets. As I unburden my brain, I am struck with awe at the audacity of the task. In the Fullness of Time, it will be published, right here.

The weight project proceeds without incident. Every Tuesday, I attend a class at an outlying clinic of WVU Hospital, where some wonderful and caring ladies operate what is called the "HMR Program." The heart of the program is a "supplemented fast," that is, darn little calorie intake, and what you do take in is heavy on protein, to protect muscle (particularly cardiac muscle) from wasting away. Another part of the program is attending class, where these folks work on educating and in many senses advising the participants. The "health educator" with whom I mostly interact is Torri, a young woman who is the daughter-in-law of a very, very dear friend, a wonderful woman with whom I've been through thick & thin. Torri is educated and licensed in the psychology/counseling profession, and that shows in her work. This evening's class was a little unusual. One of the students/patients/clients (I haven't decided what the heck we are) is having trouble following the program, and let her upset flow - which is a very good thing, IMHO. That gave us all the spark to vent, to show support, and to learn from one another. Torri took the conversation wonderfully flexibly - she's not one of those people who are stuck to an agenda or outline, she is there to guide and genuinely interact. I confess that I was somewhat animated - that life has dealt us a bad hand, that sucks, the whole experience of being fat sucks, it's not f.ing fair, but we gotta play the hand that's we're dealt. Far from whining, this was something that created some useful anger and determination and attitude. I made reference to that video clip of the professor that was on the Community Blog yesterday, and I hope that lots of folks watch it. I say that I'm so busy, the whole diet thing has faded into the background, but that's more wishful thinking than anything else. It's there on my mind and it needs to be. When I climb the long staircase at No. 3, it ain't easy. But I must remember what it was like 110 pounds ago. Everywhere I go, I keep what it was like several months ago in the front of my mind. Eye on the ball, eye on the ball. The head of the program is Carla, an understanding and compassionate woman who has helped me through some really difficult times in the past months. I do love these people a lot.

I was running around town this evening right after sundown. Living in the mountains, you will see either darn little sky or terrain (when you are down in a valley) or magnificent views (when you are on top of the hills). I was on top of a plaza and as I started home, I saw the full moon rising. I wonder - how significant are astronomical phenomena in other places? I'm not sure if it's a local thing/mountain thing, or a love-of-science thing, but I'm always aware of the sky - what phase the moon is in, and therefore when it will rise and set; the position of the planets (Venus is glorious in the morning sky right now - nearing the maximum optical deviation from the Sun which is, as I recall, about 19 degrees); the length of the day, how far we are from the equinoxes and soltices, that sort of thing. So, where you are at, is the sky important to you? If I were to live anywhere else, it would be Colorado or New Mexico or elsewhere in the Rockies, just because the sky there is endless and breathtaking.

I was at my Mom's this evening. LaElu was there, too. My Mom went to a "Lifelong Learners" seminar on probate today. She got to talking about an old, old friend of hers, Pauline, and the fact that one of Pauline's neice's attempted to invalidate her will. What my Mom didn't know was that I had prepared that will, knew that there was a strong potential of a will contest, and I think I did a pretty workmanlike job of making it iron-clad. Pauline was having some minor cognitive problems, but that doesn't render someone incompetent to make a will. In WV, a "testator," to be competent, has to know the identity of "the natural objects of their bounty," meaning who their closest relatives are, and the general extent of their estate. Because I had known Pauline for many years, since I was a little kid, I had an actual memory of the process of doing the will. I do lots of wills, that's part of representing people rather than things. I seldom remember much about a particular event. That's why I do the discussion which precedes preparation of the will exactly the same way every time. That makes me a legally ("specifically") competent witness in a will contest action, because I can then testify from unvarying habit and practice, with assurance that although I don't remember the details, I can nevertheless say with a great deal of accuracy what happened. This includes a long talk with the person making the will, separately from anybody else. Sometimes, older people will have one of their children bring them to me, or they will be present when I go to them. I never want to hear the children tell me "what Mom wants." I will find out from Mom what she wants. We will discuss the alternatives and the reasonableness or necessity of any arrangement other than equal division of property among the closest relatives. We discuss the community and the client's life and other things that give me personal assurance that the person is competent. (Yes, there are frequently times that I will refuse to do a will, when I don't believe that the testator is competent. Can the family take Mom to another lawyer and probably get a will? Yup. But not from me.) Well, when the omitted potential heir of Pauline got a lawyer, the deck was so cold it had icicles on it, and nothing was ever filed in Court. Anyway, this discussion got me thinking about Pauline's husband, Howard, who died a year or so before I did Pauline's will. I did Howard's will, medical power of attorney and so forth for him when he was terminally ill with liver cancer. He came to my office, I already knew about his medical condition, and I talked to him about it. I remember asking him if he minded talking about it. He replied, "Hell, no, Roger, this is a part of life." He went on to tell me that his doctor thought that the cancer had spread from his lungs, where it was caused by asbestos exposure. He told me that the only place that he had had asbestos exposure was when he served on a submarine in World War II as some sort of chief. He hastened to add that it was a fair exchange, that he had done his duty, and that the Navy had always done right by him. I wonder sometimes if gender-based models and examples are current and wise. I think that they are. There are some gender differences, we gotta live with that. You don't have to be a dick to be a man, you just need to have one. And I believe that some behaviors are validly assessed with gender-based models. In that light, I have always consider, and still remember Howard as a man's man.

My partner is president of the county bar. She just arranged to have the annual Christmas party at No. 3. That means that I have to participate. I loathe parties. I am the original wallflower, and don't have a hell of a lot of conversational skills. But I'll be there.

Pippa passes. Mizpah.Z

R